Show me how you do that trick...

Everything was fine. Until he came back.

And now all the things I pushed to the side just HAD to go back into plain view the minute he was back in town.

What is wrong with this picture?

How does he do that?!

I dealt with the unattainable by convincing myself that I didn't want it anymore. If it was always in my presence, I had to somehow point out all of the flaws and imperfections. I could not want it anymore just by showing myself all that I didn't like. I didn't deal with the issue, I covered it up with mistakes. Had my strategy of dealing with issues backfired on me?

Did I have to actually own up to how the unattainable made me feel? Ugh. I hate those things, those inconvenient things that fog up your otherwise sane logic. What were those things called? Feelings? Something like that. I had a lot of them before the series of assholes just removed them with each disappointing feat.

I face the music in two weeks. Until then... there's actual music to ease anxiety.

"Just Like Heaven" by Katie Melua (cover)




Why are you so far away?
he said
Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you?
That I'm in love with you?