The Marketplace

Carrie Bradshaw wrote about relationships and investments once. She said, "When it comes to finance and dating, I couldn't help but wonder: why invest?" I spoke with a financial adviser today who told me about their own company's strategies for retirement savings. I, being a 20-year-old fiscally irresponsible girl, needed to hear this.

I resisted every urge to laugh at every instance I heard "save" and "you can't take this money out." I am a better spender than I am a better saver. The guy told me about putting aside part of my paycheck to diversify my stock portfolio (shut up, I actually just found out what that meant today). He told me about all the different sorts of savings vehicles that existed, and which would be better for what.

Didn't that also apply to my strategies for approaching relationships? I, too, liked to diversify my portfolio; I date multiple guys at once, casually. In other words, I have tiny shares of different stocks. That way, if one goes bad, I didn't invest too much (or own too much) of it to fall down along with it.

The variety of savings vehicles (Money Markets, Certificates of Deposit, Roth IRAs, Cash Value Life Insurance, 401Ks) could be analogous to the different boyfriends/significant others.

• You want something that you can invest a little bit in and take out whenever you're done with it? Get a money market. It's taxed when you get it, when it grows, and when you decide you want to take it out and spend it. In terms of investment, financially and emotionally, you never really get the entire amount--just a little bit more than what you started with.
• You want a summer fling? There's your certificate of deposit. It only grows stronger and stronger for a certain amount of time, but there's always a cut-off date.
• You want something better, bigger, more formidable for the long run, you start investing in your cash value life insurance. You put aside a hefty amount every month from your paycheck. I mean, really, you bust your ass for this one. But you gain equity on it. And should you decide to take some of that money out, you get what you put in. It pays you back and then some in the long run. In other terms, this is your classic relationship.

Interesting, huh?

In the whirlwind of diversifying my portfolio and spending my hard-earned money on frivolous items (and "investments"), I have decided to take a step further and start planning for my retirement that looming in about 45 years. I'm putting aside $75 every month, until I can afford more, towards a 401K, cash value life insurance, and a money market whatchamacallit. This is a huge step. I have debt on my shoulders and I'm sure to incur more.

I have baggage from prior investments, prior attempts to save, and prior mistakes. Planning for the future is a specialty of mine and I'm sure I'm ready for this venture.

So the stock market can go up or down or sideways, but this 20-year-old fiscally irresponsible girl is putting her money where her mouth his and is off the market.