Point of clarification

My summer officially started last Friday after my 3pm mojito and fish tacos but I feel like I'm still on schedule. Don't ask me why I put myself through this because I might a) cry and wonder where my youth is going and/or b) laugh and say "Can't help a ho." Either of the above (not to mention to unique combination of the above) is sure to elicit some raised eyebrows and cockeyed expressions.

ANYWAY!

Isn't it funny how, when you break it down to its core, rules are rarely considerate of moral compasses? I mean, you can run over a cat, squirrel, bunny rabbit, or [insert common rodent species here] and you don't get fined, ticketed, pulled over or arrested. You can run over a damn deer and apparently it's okay because they're so overpopulated that killing one is doing a favor for the foliage. But you run over a human being and you're pretty much in shit. Unless you're Brandy. Then you get away with it.

Rules are set for fairness, for some sense of equality, no? If rules are uniform throughout, nobody can slip through and get away with something. But events are rarely as uniform as the rules that supposedly govern them. Enter my never-ending allusion to relationships.

You can like someone (as in feel every emotion you want to feel for that person) and spend time with that someone and show them you care. But unless they like you back, you're only on the giving and not the receiving end of this relationship. And what if the two of you do decide to reciprocate? The boundaries of expectations are "blurry" or "muddled" unless there is some sort of established understanding, right? The understanding is usually:

1. We are just booty calls. I'll call you when I'm not getting any and nothing's good on TV. I might also text you asking the same thing. Maybe even when you're with your girlfriends or a guy you're just "seeing."
   
2. We are fuck buddies. We dine and ditch as soon as the dirty is done. Every Tuesday. Then maybe I'll go for a cigarette/sandwich afterward.
   
3. We are friends with benefits. We will fool around and hang out and genuinely enjoy each other's company, but don't expect me to introduce you to my parents or my best friends. I didn't mean to introduce you to my friends--they just happened to be at the bowling alley when I decided to go there with you after we got to third base in my basement.
4. We are talking. Apparently we've established a mutual interest but nothing has happened between us yet. I hope something will happen soon because I like you.
5. We are seeing each other. Sure, I talk to other people on the side and hang out with others but I'm taking you more seriously than the rest. Oh, what's this? Your best friend? And your mother? Hi, very nice to meet you.
6. We are dating. No official, exclusive label yet: just a lot of talking, affection, and the occasional PDA in front of a sunset. Oh yeah, sometimes we have sex and sometimes we "make love." I giggle when you say we're doing the latter.
7. We are in a relationship. If you so much as check out another guy/girl I'm going to get really quiet and not talk to you for the rest of the evening until you get the hint and then make it up to me by giving me a foot massage and watching The Notebook with me. We'll have sex but I'll "get a headache" before you get off. Yeah. Suck it. But I love you.

Now tell me with a straight face that these "stages" are as all-inclusive as they are in real life?